Common problem areas for sports parents
Cal Botterill: The Parental Guide
Parents who create problems seldom do it intentionally. While we do not set out to create a negative experience for our children, it can happen. Here are five ways it happens.
Misplaced enthusiasm
Parents sometimes place an overemphasis on achieving goals or on winning or losing, rather than on their children's enjoyment, growth and development. They want to be enthusiastic, but aren't sure how to express their enthusiasm effectively. Astute coaches often channel such parents' energy by giving them important support roles or tasks. In the process, the parents are often educated regarding the complexity of the coach's task.
Inducing guilt
Parents can spend thousands of dollars and countless hours on youth sport participation. It is easy for children to begin to notice the sacrifice and feel tremendous guilt and pressure to do well. Parents need to regularly remind their children that they enjoy providing the opportunity and there are no strings attached. Children do need to appreciate their opportunities, but must not be made, even unintentionally, to feel guilty about them.
Living vicariously through our children
Parents sometimes push children in order to make up for their own past frustrations and limitations. Too much vicarious involvement by the parent can become a tremendous burden to young athletes and be the cause of acute embarrassment.
Glimmer of gold
For too many parents gold medals and rich contracts become the main focus. It's fine to be ambitious, but the reality is that less than one percent of children who start a sport will go on to make a living at it. Be supportive, but stay rational. There is probably much more upward social mobility in other fields than there is in sport. If your children happen to excel through sport, great, but don't let expectations become a burden or a distraction.
Losing Perspective
Parents sometimes lose sight of what is important for children and themselves. Growth and development and preparation for life need to be the priority. Parents and children should regularly discuss values in sport and life. Knowing who we are, what is important in life and how sports fit in are all part of achieving a perspective. With the bigger picture in place both parents and children are less prone to problems in youth sports.
Any of these five tendencies hurt our children and destroy the potential of sports programs. Look carefully for where you may be prone, even unintentionally, to these kinds of concerns.
This was originally written by Cal Botterill and Tom Patrick for Sport Manitoba and Manitoba Hydro.
Misplaced enthusiasm
Parents sometimes place an overemphasis on achieving goals or on winning or losing, rather than on their children's enjoyment, growth and development. They want to be enthusiastic, but aren't sure how to express their enthusiasm effectively. Astute coaches often channel such parents' energy by giving them important support roles or tasks. In the process, the parents are often educated regarding the complexity of the coach's task.
Inducing guilt
Parents can spend thousands of dollars and countless hours on youth sport participation. It is easy for children to begin to notice the sacrifice and feel tremendous guilt and pressure to do well. Parents need to regularly remind their children that they enjoy providing the opportunity and there are no strings attached. Children do need to appreciate their opportunities, but must not be made, even unintentionally, to feel guilty about them.
Living vicariously through our children
Parents sometimes push children in order to make up for their own past frustrations and limitations. Too much vicarious involvement by the parent can become a tremendous burden to young athletes and be the cause of acute embarrassment.
Glimmer of gold
For too many parents gold medals and rich contracts become the main focus. It's fine to be ambitious, but the reality is that less than one percent of children who start a sport will go on to make a living at it. Be supportive, but stay rational. There is probably much more upward social mobility in other fields than there is in sport. If your children happen to excel through sport, great, but don't let expectations become a burden or a distraction.
Losing Perspective
Parents sometimes lose sight of what is important for children and themselves. Growth and development and preparation for life need to be the priority. Parents and children should regularly discuss values in sport and life. Knowing who we are, what is important in life and how sports fit in are all part of achieving a perspective. With the bigger picture in place both parents and children are less prone to problems in youth sports.
Any of these five tendencies hurt our children and destroy the potential of sports programs. Look carefully for where you may be prone, even unintentionally, to these kinds of concerns.
This was originally written by Cal Botterill and Tom Patrick for Sport Manitoba and Manitoba Hydro.
No comments:
Post a Comment